Plan B is the new Plan A
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
