Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
