i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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