So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
