I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
