I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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