bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
