see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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