All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
