its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
