I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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