Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
