i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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