dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
