I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I cockslap morals
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
