I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
