with your own penis?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
