That's intense
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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