All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
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