I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
