Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
