Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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