i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
