im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
