i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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