remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
