You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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