A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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