I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
