Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
