Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
