Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
