i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My vagina is very pro this idea
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