eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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