did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
bring money and cleavage
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize