We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you traded sex for a burrito?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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