i barfeds in our rink
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
