We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm just crazy horny about you
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
