chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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