I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
