I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
