you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
