is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
