I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
