My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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