the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Randomize
