hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
