I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Is it because I queefed?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
