he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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