fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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