these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
