Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
