I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
