My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
