I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
