She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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