Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
